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We should talk more often!
Every now and then I hear myself say it to the boyfriend: 'We never really talk... We should talk more often!'
Usually he then looks at me a little disturbed: 'What do you mean? We've just been discussing what you did today, and before that we talked about my work...'
'No, that's not what I mean...'
'Then what dó you mean? Do you want to talk about problems?'
'No, not problems... Just thíngs, you know... Interesting things, like our opinions on what happens in the world, actual debates, society, politics... For example when you read an interesting article in a paper or magazine, we could discuss that more often, couldn't we?'
'But last week we've discussed Obama's new health politics, didn't we?'
'Yeah, but that was last week... ah well, never mind, forget about it!'
But apparently last time he didn't forget about my regular 'we-should-talk-more-often'-mantra, cause this morning the boyfriend finally found an article to discuss, that he presented to me with a smile that was slightly too cheerful. The headline: 'Women are more narcissistic and ego-centered than ever'...
(read more here and here (in English), or here (in Dutch))
Apparently women these days all want to be special, unique and better than others, and they demand unrealistic things from life. Isn't that something interesting to discuss?
Well, maybe it is, maybe it isn't. Sometimes it tires me, reading the same kind of things over and over again. Women want too much, women care for their looks too much, women shop too much, women compare themselves to other women too often, women are too concerned with what other people think of them, consumer society and it's unreal female images are too demanding... We've all heard it often enough, and probably a lot of it is true. But then what's next? Should we protest and demand 'society' to change? Do women have to change? Men? Or better just enjoy narcissism's joys and accept the accompanying neurosis?
I think the most interesting thing to discuss and consider is how these subjects play their part in our own lives, and how we can somehow arm ourselves against the excesses. I guess we have to accept the world around us as a reality that we can't easily change, so all we can do is focus on our own attitude and feelings (at least that's what the self-help books say ;)). How to say 'enough' at times?
(Gender-) Scientists often point at the negative role that the media play, and as a blogger I sometimes ask myself if (design)blogging also contributes to this consumer/narcissist lifestyle: do we bloggers represent independent creative culture, or is it in the end just another expression of excessive consumer society?
And if so, is consuming really so wrong? I love making things and I'm really happy when I sell enough of them, cause it enables me to keep making things, but sometimes it worries me that I'm just one of those many sellers of 'things'. You know, those evil capitalists trying to sell their goods to innocent customers... Are my 'things' really more special than other things cause they're handmade? Or is that just my inner narcissist speaking?
By the way I just found that Holly at Decor8 wrote an interesting post about blogging and the risks of becoming too self-centered yesterday. Maybe she'd been reading the article as well?
You see, this is one of those posts that raises more questions than answers. Guess who we have to thank for that... Next time I'd better swallow my tongue before I start that 'we-should-talk-more-often'-mantra again! ;) No, just kidding (I don't let go of my favorite mantras that easily!), though it may be one of those questions without easy answers, I love to hear your thoughts!
I tried to find some images matching with the blog post, but I failed... So here are some completely non-matching pictures that I took in Antwerp a while ago.


leililaloo on 2009-09-15 22:50
Your mantra is my mantra :)
Lisa on 2009-09-16 23:46
Hooray for narcism! To contribute to the discussion I will write in English this time..
I've read the dutch article and read that it's a study of two men. Men! So we might as well throw it in the bin! It seems that these two men are starting to get really afraid of the selfconciousness of women,haha! And it's about time we womendemand more of lifeand no its not irrealistic, we know what what we want and we will get it and there are no men to stop as as they used to do ages ago.
About you being a contributor to the shopaholic world: the products you sell will mostly be sold to people (ok:women) who are aware of these problems and they like beautifull things and love to recycle, so selling your stuff is not like going to H&M so,no impulse shopping.
No guild, just fun and lots of narcism!!
marja on 2009-09-17 23:10
The woman are answering the machism with a stupid feminism, they are becoming boring, evil, and materialist, most even dont want to have children anymore, this is like a abortion of the nature, like a bird in a cage...
Jane on 2010-02-26 23:46
I've just come across your blog and I'm catching up on old entries. This entry made me laugh because your talk with your boyfriend sounds just like my husband and I! My husband is an intelligent man, but he's much more practical and straight-forward than me, and he doesn't understand why I want to debate things and discuss things all the time, so I often sound like you, trying to get him to "talk" more, poor men!
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About Ninainvorm

My name is Nina, I'm a ceramics and paperwares designer and mom of Rosa and Julie. This blog is about making, living, liking, loving and so much more!

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